Is Your Writing Group Too Nice?

I've been part of a writing group for over a year now with a terrific bunch of writers and it's been a great asset to my writing life. We share our work, talk about the publishing business, books we're reading, chat about our lives and laugh. We offer suggestions and encouragement. Our group is a safe, comfortable place to explore our work. We know that when we share a piece of writing, it will be treated with fairness and respect. We give each other slack. We are each other's biggest fans.

Our writing group is a vastly different experience than what you'll find in most college workshops, where a collection of not-necessarily like-minded souls are thrown together. Sure, you'll find a few kind people here and there, but also a few sticklers, a curmudgeon, that one person who 'doesn't get' your work, and a competitive type or two who are more interested in their own talent than anyone else's. Even with careful ground rules in place, workshops can be a little intimidating--and that's actually a good thing. If you know your work is going to be met with a critical eye, you're more likely to try harder. A tough workshop is excellent preparation for the larger, even more critical world you'll face when you're published.

I was thinking about the difference between my cozy little writing group and a true workshop after receiving e-mails from two of our group members who were apologizing for not having anything to share for our upcoming meeting. At first, we'd all been great about keeping to our deadlines, but little by little our collective discipline was starting to erode. All it took was one person saying they weren't going to be able to make deadline and suddenly we all relaxed. I was probably the worst offender of all, not submitting work for months because I was editing my novel. It occurred to me that the reason why we all joined the group was to write more and to be held accountable for it. Instead, we were enabling a lack of discipline. We were being too nice to each other. I decided it was time for us to buckle down and I was going to be the meanie to say something.

I was a little nervous about sharing my thoughts. By bringing this problem to the fore I, too, would no longer have a free pass. But it had to be done. Overall, the other group members seemed to take it well and everyone agreed that we needed to buckle down.

To soften the blow, we changed our rules a bit. Instead of submitting our work every other month we changed our deadlines to every three months--giving us all a little built-in leeway. If we were unable to generate something new or didn't have a re-write to share, then we had to write a piece using a prompt. One of our members distributed a list of some interesting prompts she found on the internet.

It was settled. No excuses. No more missed deadlines.

If you're in a self-run writing group, I recommend an annual assessment of how the group is functioning and then making adjustments accordingly. Don't be afraid to set goals for your group. On a whim I threw out a challenge to everyone--by the end of the year, we all had to submit a piece of writing to a journal or a magazine. The piece doesn't have to be perfect--we just have to get over our initial anxieties about trying to get published and start getting into the habit of regularly submitting our work.

What challenges does your writing group face? How do you overcome those challenges?

Update on Pat

T.S. Eliot thought April was the cruelest month, but for many of us in Maine, it’s March. With January and February behind us, it seems as though we ought to be this close to Spring, but we really have another two or three months before there is any warmth or signs of growth. Ever the optimist, I keep thinking it will be different this year, and every year it drags on and on. I’ve spent many Easter Sundays wearing thick sweaters.

One way to battle the late winter blues is to reconnect with friends. To that end, I have contacted my old college buddy Patrick Robbins. For those of you who haven’t read my previous posts about Patrick, he’s a writer who finished grad school last year and spent the summer in an Airstream trailer writing a novel. The novel poured out of him in an adrenaline rush that left me envious. For his update, I thought I’d share with you what he wrote to our alumni magazine when they asked him what he was up to:

Patrick Robbins made under six thousand dollars last year, which should start putting a dent in his $55,000 worth of grad school bills. He is unemployed, as his last position, working the third shift in a warehouse, was only a seasonal one. His car, a 1997 Ford Escort, recently passed the 135,000 mile mark - and won't pass any others, as it failed inspection spectacularly. He can't get an agent to read his novel (or at least not the first 20 he asked). He would probably be living with his girlfriend, if he had one; as it is, once this housesitting gig is over, it looks like another summer staying with his parents. All of which serves to distract him from his prehypertension and slight weight gain, though the receding hairline is harder to miss…

While Pat was having a bad day when he wrote this, he assures me that he has his share of good days, too. He still hasn’t given up on his novel, and is currently waiting to hear back from two agents. He has eight stories in circulation. And best of all, he is now writing regularly as a pop culture blogger for Examiner.com. I hope you’ll take a minute to check out his informative and always entertaining blog. I truly think he’s found his niche.

New Project

My family and I just returned from a great mid-winter trip to Florida. Although it was pretty chilly for much of the trip, the sun felt great.

Just before we left, my two young daughters and I were sick with bad colds. After dinner one evening, when they started feeling better but I was still in rough shape, they begged me to play with them. I didn't have the energy for play or for even reading to them, so we cuddled on the couch, I closed my eyes, and told them a story.

The story that came out surprised me. I had no idea where it was going and was too sick to care, so I just let it flow. After I finally put the girls to bed that night, I sat down at my computer and wrote down the story. Even after re-reading the story several days later, I still really liked it. And even though I know every mother on the planet thinks they can write a children's book, I'm still going to see if I can get it published. What have I got to lose?

Right now, I'm re-working the story...a lot. It's very far from perfect and it has actually changed a lot from its original form. Then I'm going to see if I can get an agent. According to the children's book authors I've spoken with, usually you have to try to sell the book to a publisher first before a children's book agent will be interested, which is totally backwards from the adult market. Even though this is the conventional method, my plan is to contact a few agents I know first, and if that fails, I'll go the regular route.

I'll keep you posted.