Do You Yada Yada?

I don't have a lot of time to watch TV, but my recent trip to New York allowed me to catch a few Seinfeld re-runs. I'm still amazed at how well the humor and writing hold up. There are so many memorable lines and plots. Remember this one?

"The Yada Yada" episode came back to me after a recent meeting of my writing group. We've been meeting for almost two years now and certain patterns have been emerging in the mistakes we all keep repeating. I'm starting to think that most writing problems boil down to just a handful of common pitfalls. These pitfalls can be obvious to spot in other people's writing, but can be difficult to see in our own.

The most common problem that has been showing up in our group is the tendency to gloss over the most compelling part of a scene or plot point. The scene might start out strong, full of dialogue and vivid detail, but at the moment that requires big action or the story reaches an uncomfortable emotional pitch (in other words, the stuff we readers live for) the writer tends to summarize, back off so that everything suddenly works out, or abruptly end the scene. Rather than confront the dramatic moment, we often yada yada our way out of it. Another name for this phenomenon is "a missed opportunity".

Experienced writers are just as prone to the missed opportunity as newer writers. A few years ago, there was a much-celebrated, award-winning novel that I read that I didn't much care for. The story had all the makings of a great novel, but in my mind it fell short. I couldn't articulate what was missing until a friend of mine, who felt the same way about the book, pointed out that all the major plot points happened "off camera" with the characters discussing or retelling what happened after the fact. All the tension was kept at bay or diffused and the reader was never allowed to experience the most dramatic parts of the story.


The Causes 

As far as I can tell, missed opportunities are rooted in three causes: laziness, fear, or not knowing how to handle an aspect of the writing. No matter what the cause, a missed opportunity is a decision not to proceed.  Rather than writing through a difficult scene, confronting our fear of failure, or researching writing techniques, we are deciding at a subconscious level not to deal with it. We are fooling ourselves into believing no one will notice if we sweep it under the rug. Maybe some readers won't, but the overall effect will be a flat story, devoid of emotional engagement.


Recognizing the Symptoms

If missed opportunities happen at a subconscious level, how do you know when they're there? Answering 'yes' to any of the following questions is a clue that you've given your story the yada yada:

Do big scenes happen off the page? 
Are action scenes over within a few sentences?
When my protagonist encounters a problem, is it easily solved?
Do my characters tend to agree with one another about crucial issues?
During an emotionally intense exchange does one character give in to make peace?


The Cure

Fixing the problem is simply a matter of reversing it. If big scenes happen off the page, bring them in. Lengthen and slow down action scenes. When a character encounters a problem, don't magically fix it. Remember, it's your job to make your protagonist's difficult. The more confrontations, the more obstacles, the more thwarted desires, the better. Don't back away from drama.

Because here's the truth...As much importance as we put on the beginnings and endings of stories, what really makes them compelling is how your characters get from point A to B. That's the yada yada. Don't rob your readers of the experience.

Promises, Promises

Ok, Promising Writers, this post is going to be a major buzzkill. So if you don't think you're in the mood for a reality check, then you may want to duck out now. But if you can handle it--and I think you can--it might be worth your while.

The purpose of this blog is to offer encouragement and advice, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I made everything about the publishing business seem peachy keen, now would I? Every now and again it's important to manage expectations. If you know what to expect, then you aren't so crushed when something unpleasant happens. And it will. It happens to everyone.

Getting published is incredibly exciting, especially for the first time. When I got my first gig as a ghostwriter I was so thrilled I could hardly sleep for weeks. Several years later I developed my own series (ON THE ROAD) that briefly captured the attention of a television production company. I ran on pure adrenaline for months. I count the day my agent sold my first literary adult novel to Simon & Schuster (THE GREATEST MAN IN CEDAR HOLE) as one of the best days of my life.

In the early stages of any deal, there's definitely a honeymoon period when everyone is swooning over your work. Editors and sales staff will praise you. If there is buzz about your manuscript, movie producers might come calling. There might be talk about media appearances, tours, promotions, contests, bestsellers' lists, on and on. It is so easy to be swept up in all the excitement--but don't. I'm sorry to say that much of what is promised or merely mentioned probably will not happen.

So many things can happen that appear to be a sure thing then just dry right up. I once thought I had a twelve book series sold that ended up being cut down to four due to a personnel change in the publishing house. I've been contacted by TV/movie producers who seemed very interested and then never contacted me again. I've heard many publicity campaigns that never came to fruition. One of my foreign publishers thought I might make the bestseller list in that country and my book tanked. I've been told, for sure, that my book was going to be featured in a magazine that virtually makes bestsellers, only to have it cut just before publication. My first big disappointment crushed me for a long time. When the last one happened, I celebrated my 'almost' victory by going out to dinner. I ordered a martini and toasted the magazine that nearly put my name on the literary map.

Cynics like to demonize publishers, but I've hardly encountered anyone in the business that I haven't liked. Nearly everyone I've met is professional, dedicated, and their love of books is very real. So is their excitement when they come upon a project they really love. They, too, can get carried away. They might want to give you all the resources they can to give your book a push, but corporate demands, budgets, and shifting priorities can get in the way. Things just happen. And the truth is, even the best editors really can't predict what will resonate with the public and become a bestseller. A lot of it is largely out of their hands.

So, how can you insulate yourself against disappointment?

Expect the Unexpected. Yes, things will go wrong. To you. To everyone. That's life.

Set Your Expectations Low. It's okay to get excited about potential good news--as long as you keep it in perspective. There's rarely a quick path to wealth and stardom.

Don't Count on Anything Until It's Signed, Sealed, Delivered. Your contract is not valid until it's signed by both parties. Consider any talk of publicity, celebrity blurbs, movie deals, etc. to be merely idle chit-chat until something is actually happening toward that goal. Even then, don't consider it real until it has actually happened. Seriously.

Don't Spend a Dime Until the Check Clears. Tattoo this one on your arm so you don't forget. I used to work in the accounting office of a literary agency and I can't tell you how many authors got themselves in a bind by spending money they didn't have. So what if you just signed a contract for $100,000 advance? It could take months for the publisher to cut you a check. Don't spend a dime until it's actually in your bank account.  And then, if you're really smart, you'll sock away a portion for taxes and save the rest until your manuscript is finished, delivered, and approved. Do you know what happens in that rare instance that the publisher doesn't like your finished work or that you fail to deliver it? You have to give the money back! Not so easy to do, once you've spent it.

Be Grateful. Even when things go wrong, be happy and humble about the things that do go right. Because they will. Many things will go right, things you would never expect. A bookseller might fall in love with your book and spread the word about it. You might win an award. A high-profile newspaper might give you a rave review. A town you've never heard of might choose your book as a community read and ask you to speak. You might become a celebrity in a foreign country.

Prepare yourself. Anything can happen. That's half the fun.

Maybe This Cookie Will Help Me Write...

My previous post about the difficulty of filling the blank page reminds me of a conversation I once had with an agent about a certain superstar of the graphic novel world. The writer apparently told her that one of the biggest struggles he faced every day was forcing himself to sit down and work. Hearing that procrastination is a problem for someone of his caliber has been a great source of comfort to me over the years.

I’m one of those writers for whom settling down to work involves a lot of avoidance and no small amount of superstition. I liken it to a professional baseball player up at bat, with all the spitting, helmet-and-elbow-touching, dirt kicking and glove adjusting that needs to take place before he feels psychologically and physically comfortable enough to swing. In order for me to work, I need a glass of water and a comfortable room temperature. The house needs to be completely quiet. The weather can’t be too nice or I’ll want to be outside instead. I can’t be too tired or even a little sick. Then, if all these conditions are right, I have to check my e-mail, my favorite blogs, and do an online crossword. Then I might check the weather, and then my e-mail again. If no one has written to me or I haven’t received notice of a sale at one of my favorite stores, I’m good to go.

Once I begin writing, if I get stuck on a word, I find myself “write walking”--a phenomenon closely related to sleep walking, in which a writer gets up from her desk and suddenly finds herself standing before her open refrigerator with no recollection of how she ended up there. This occurrence is usually followed with an unhealthy snack and a wave of guilt, and can sometimes be repeated several times during the writing of a particularly difficult passage.

If writing is one of my great passions in life, why is it so hard to be disciplined? The best answer I can come up with is fear of failure. When I’ve written nothing, that nebulous masterpiece floating in my head retains all of its perfection; the moment I try to write I realize just how far my work is from my vision. Yet this should never be a deterrent, for it is extremely rare for a work to perfectly echo one’s vision. I wonder if artists in other mediums have the same problem with procrastination. I can certainly see songwriters having similar angst, but what about painters and sculptors or performance artists? Does fear of facing their limitations put them off, too?

Today, I might get down one good sentence if I’m lucky. Or maybe a particular word choice might sing. Or maybe it’ll all sound stiff and boring. So be it. Tomorrow I’ll sit down at my desk, with my water and silence and optimal room temperature, check my e-mail and play my word puzzles. And when all is right I’ll settle down to work and try again.